Architecture & Motherhood
I have recently gone through two major transitions in my life…Let’s call them REINVENTIONS. The first one has been motherhood and the second is finding alignment with my purpose. I know purpose seems like a very ambiguous idea to grasp, trust me, as a first generation immigrant Purpose is not really in our vocabulary. Our only purpose is to have a career that provides stable employment opportunities that will make our parent’s effort of upending their lives worthwhile (NO PRESSURE THERE) Anyway I digress…
In the past, I would gauge my worth based on the results and intricacy of the tasks I completed, the number of challenging deadlines I faced, the late nights I dedicated to the office, and the credentials I earned. Perhaps this mindset was ingrained in me during my time in architecture school, or maybe it stemmed from being the youngest sibling. Regardless, I always believed that recognition and respect could only be attained through accomplishments.
Throughout my career, I devoted all my time, energy, and attention to my job, neglecting my physical and mental well-being. However, when I became pregnant, I realized the importance of setting boundaries to protect my body, which was now responsible for nurturing a little human. It soon became clear that I could no longer meet the demands of my job by working the standard 40 hours. It was challenging to compete with younger, ambitious colleagues who were not burdened by pregnancy. In any workplace, especially in the corporate architecture field, there is a constant pressure to compare yourself to others and set out a path to level up. It was evident that very few women held leadership positions in my office, and achieving such roles often required personal sacrifices that I was not willing to make.
I could envision my life as that well-known gender pay gap graph that illustrates the steep decline in women's earnings after having children and it became demoralizing. In an attempt to achieve a better work-life balance, I made the decision to transition from a large corporate firm to a smaller boutique residential office after the birth of my first child. However, as any working mother with a child in daycare can attest, life becomes highly unpredictable when you are constantly battling various illnesses and bugs. Since I had just started this new job, my reputation was not built upon the 13 years of unwavering work ethic, but rather on those few months of spotty attendance conflicting with the rigid 9-5 schedule. I once again feared that becoming a mother would hinder my career progression.
After months of intense introspection, I came to the realization that I needed to embrace my purpose and potential without being confined by someone else's expectations of what I could accomplish. Motherhood has been the most expansive and fulfilling journey of my life. Becoming a mother did not impede my skills as a designer; in fact, it significantly broadened my understanding and capabilities in ways I never could have anticipated. Motherhood has revealed to me the immense strength and resilience I possess.
I am aware of the valuable contributions I bring as a professional. Being a mother has enhanced my skills as an architect and designer. It has given me the ability to anticipate and plan for potential chaos, ensuring that my designs prioritize function, beauty, and health. Additionally, my role as a mother has honed my listening and problem-solving abilities. On a technical level, I possess a deep understanding of the environmental toxins and harmful ingredients that pervade modern homes. This knowledge allows me to carefully select materials, finishes, equipment, and technology that minimize exposure to these contaminants.
We are better equipped to manage higher levels of stress when we find meaning in our actions. We put in more effort when a task doesn't feel burdensome and we have the independence and flexibility to make decisions. My motivation stems from a strong aspiration to impart my knowledge and live a life that aligns with my purpose and commitment to creating spaces that encourage celebration, prioritize well-being, and value the importance of family!
